Exposed Insecurities
by mrsthornton123
Summary: I know that I am that girl. I am the fat girl. Pig snorts keep echoing in my head. I bring my fingers forward and I put them in the back of my throat. There is a horrible pain in the back of my throat as the muscles compulse. White bile comes out.


**Prologue: Prom **

The bright flash of the camera blinds me. I hate getting my picture taken. My mom takes way to many pictures. And oh great, now she is sobbing. She keeps nudging my dad and tells him to:

"Look at that picture, dear! Isn't our daughter lovely?"

Great. Now mother will show her Oprah Book Club my picture. She will probably even go to Walgreens and blow up the picture will huge! Exciting.

Today is the day that most hormonal teenagers dream of: Prom. Prom is where they call it a dance, but really it is a grinding fest. And after you grind on the dance floor, you go grind in a hotel room. Real classy. And parents just wave their little hands and cry how beautiful their child looks as if they are oblivious to what really happens at Prom. I have no idea how much Prom has changed since they were teens, but it must have changed drastically.

The drive to prom is the worst. It's incredibly awkward, especially if your cousin is the one taking you to prom. My cousin, Paul, is a druggy. He will probably ditch me when we arrive to the stupid place and go to the bathroom to take a smoke. I cannot believe my mother trusted me with this bloke. Ha! I am a poet and I didn't even know it! God, when will this drive end? He won't even turn the music on. Boredom. Paul is the epitome of boredom.

Prom is in the gym. The gym is really dark and smokey. I see they decided to spend a little and get smoke machines. People are grinding against each other. There are grinding trains, grinding twosomes, and the freak that grinds by themselves. Prom is a big Orgy. Aldous Huxley would be very proud. And oh my Ford, there is food!

I sigh with great relief when a chocolate strawberry touches my tongue. Its so sweet and juicy. I continue to stuff food in my face when I hear a cough. I look over to the person next to me. It's Jacob Black.

"What?" I ask with a sandwich still in my mouth.

"You are just so disgusting."

"That's a sharp outfit, Black. Careful, you could puncture the hull of an Empire-Class Fire Nation Battleship, leaving thousands to drown at sea…because it's so sharp."

Jacob smiles a little and then forces his lips down. He quickly grabs a sandwich and runs away. I feel a little disappointed. Jacob and I used to watch _Avatar: the Last Airbender_ together when his mom was at work. I would ask what changed, but I know what changed.

"Could the Prom Queen Nominees come to the stage?" Mr. Banner keeps poking the microphone, as if to see it is on. Old people are horrible with technology.

Prom queen is every girls dream. The moment where you hold your breath and hope that miraculously, your name will be called. But every year, there is the same nominees with just different faces and names. There is always the beautiful cheerleader, the snobby cheerleader, the nice cheerleader, and that random fat girl that the faculty nominated out of pity. As I stand on the stage with the other nominees, I know that I am that girl. I am the fat girl.

The ironic thing, the girls on the stage with me who are clutching each others hands as they look at the moldy gym ceiling, praying to the Prom Goddess, used to be my best friends.

The most important moment in your life is not your birth, the day you get married, or have your first child. The moment that defines the rest of your life is your first sleepover. Mine was in eight grade. It was with Lauren Mallory (beautiful cheerleader), Jessica Stanley (snobby cheerleader), and Angela Weber (nice cheerleader).

The sleepover was going well. We were talking about boys, Jacob in particular.

"I cannot believe you and Jacob hangout like everyday."

"Have you guys kissed yet?"

All Jessica cared about was kissing. I thought kissing was disgusting, especially with Jacob, and I hoped the wrinkle of my nose showed that.

All three girls gasped in unison.

"Shut. Up."

"He is so kissable!"

"Have you kissed anyone, Bella?"

This is where I bit my lip and shook my head.

Jessica tutted and stood up and started to walk away. Like the Barbie Clones we were, we all stood up and followed the Head Barbie. She walked to her bathroom and pointed towards the toilet.

I think Angela and Lauren were just as confused as me. I had no idea what she wanted us to do with that toilet. It became all clear though when Jessica put two fingers in her mouth and started to gag herself.

Angela and Jessica tried to stop her, but I just watched. My stomach turned as I watched white bile come out of her throat and spill into the toilet. Jessica just wiped her mouth like a trouper and said:

"Your turn."

I watched as one by one my best friends gagged themselves. When it was my turn, I turned to walk out the door. A hand gripped my shoulder and made me face an angry Jessica.

"You have too, Bella, or you will never be kissed."

"I don't have to and I don't want to."

I have seen Jessica mad at countless people, but I never felt the wrath of Jessica Stanley until then.

"You will regret this, Bella."

The next day at school was completely normal. I met up with the girls by our lockers, and we walked to lunch together. I was grabbing a burger when I heard the first pig snort. The whole cafeteria was soon filled with pig snorts.

"Hey, Bella! You sure you want that burger?" Pig snort.

"Bella! You gained a little weight there!" Pig snort.

My heart began to pitter in my chest. The tears began to swell in my eyes. I looked towards Jessica.

"Should have puked," pig snort.

I turned to my one true best friend and he was just sitting there, doing nothing.

As I stand on the stage with my used-to-be-best-friends-forever-and-ever, I become all to aware of how tight my dress is. I can't seem to breathe.

"And the Prom Queen is-" drum roll please "Jessica Stanley!"

What? Did you think this was going to be some sentimental story about a fat girl winning Prom Queen?

There is a roar of excitement. No one will be murdered tonight.

"I thought for sure Lauren, Angela, or Bella would win!"

Excuse me as I wipe my imaginary tears with my arm flub.

After Jessica's thirty minute acceptance speech, I walk towards her. Lauren and Angela are hugging her. Stacey just looks at me with a satisfied smile. I force a smile back.

"Thanks for being real, Jessica."

Jessica mocks me by clutching her chest.

"Aw. That means a lot from you-"

"Thanks for being real bit-"

"Can the Prom King and Prom Queen please go to the middle of the dance floor?"

This years Prom King was a shocker: Mike Newton, Jessica's new boyfriend. She will dump him tomorrow.

I wonder if the food is still there. I look towards the table and see that juice is still left and that's pretty much it. Feeling a little thirsty, I walk towards the juice bowl. I am clutching the scooper when a dark hand stops my pale one. I look up and I see Jacob.

"I wouldn't drink that if I were you."

Every Prom movie and book hits my memory all at once. Spiked. Of course the juice would be spiked. Let's ignore the fact that everyone will die of dehydration. Classic.

"Thanks."

His lips quirk a little. He looks awkward for a moment and then starts to randomly move his head towards the direction of the dance floor. He makes compulsive movements as if his tie is way too tight.

"You alright?"

"Would you like to dance with me?"

The walk to the dance floor is bright. The smokes seems to clear and my hand is sweaty. I hope he doesn't notice. When we are in the middle of the dance floor, I reach for his hands but he grabs mine and places them behind his neck. I am close to him. I can see he has a mole on the side of his face, and he smells really good for a guy that is so sweaty.

Pig snort.

I close my eyes and hope to God, Allah, and Betty White that that was my imagination.

Pig snort.

Soon the whole entire gym is filled with pig snorts. Jacob stops swaying and steps away from me. His face is red and he looks towards the floor. I continue to look at him, hoping that he will finally do something. He looks up and stares right into my eyes. His face twists into a familiar position and a familiar sound comes out of him:

Pig Snort.

The walls of the halls are a dark green. My feet echo and it is the only sound. My breathing is heavy. The familiar door of the Girls Bathroom. The floor is cold and my eyes are leaking. Tears fall into the toilet water. I stare at my forefinger and my middle finger. Pig snorts keep echoing in my head. I bring my fingers forward and I put them in the back of my throat. There is a horrible pain in the back of my throat as the muscles compulse. White bile comes out.

**Hi! I hope you guys enjoyed the prologue! The next chapter will be longer and a couple years in the future. We might even see our favorite charater:)**


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